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SouSTAR
(=ↀωↀ=) <[ Hello! I draw cars, cops, comics, cats, and a bit of everything ]

Age 18

French and Algerian

Joined on 9/3/24

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I'm getting lazier, and I'm feeling something weird...

Posted by SouSTAR - February 3rd, 2025

I don't know if anyone have noticed this, but my drawings are getting lazier and lazier.


I don't love things particularly, i just like them. Like, i like cars. I like guns, cops stuff, cats, french fries, manga, 90's stuff, etc...


But I'm not inspired. I just draw what i feel on a period of time, and when this period pass, I draw something else. That's why I drop so many projects or concepts so quickly. I don't feel the emotion I associated with this work, so I drop it and work on something that fit my current feeling.


Mh. Boring.


My life is also very uneventful. I know that it's better this way, but paired with my indifference? It suck. Midly.


I also have no goals in life. I don't care about getting a job or a wife or whatever. I just don't care about myself. I'm not depressed, I'm actually happy, but maybe I'm too much happy? Too comfortable? Maybe i just fucking fried my dopamine receptors?


But at the same time, I'm too dumb to follow class. Too weak to follow sports. Too lazy and unmotivated to pursue any of the "Three Great Life Goals" (Job, Marriage, Kids)


It's as if the moment I became 18, we opened the big gates of adulthood for me to see after all these years, only to see a vast desert of nothing.


Well, i AM thankful that nothing is happening to me. But. It's boring, you know? I don't want to get in an accident or be the victim of whatever fucked up things happen to people though, and I'm very thankful.


I love nothing and I hate nothing. I'm just mildly concerned or moderately happy about things.


I'm not PASSIONATE. I don't have PASSION.

I wonder if everyone have this "I could talk about it for days" subject. I don't. Because I think that things come and go, and I'm actually not that smart, so I know I'll make mistakes in my judgement or knowledge.


Maybe I'm not daring enough?


I tried to explore more subjects with Singapura and Cracy, but... I'm getting unmotivated.

Now, I still wanna draw, but I don't know how or what. I have nothing to tell. Nothing to speak about.


I fear I'm losing my passion for art.

But at the same time, I'm a bit apathetic about it. It's not like it's the end of the world, right?


I'm getting lazier and lazier. Im skipping all my classes, and just sit around in my room. But I still help my family, doing the groceries and helping my siblings with their homework. I just don't want to work for myself anymore.

It's as if my body melted or was gradually crushed. But under what? I don't know.

I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm quite happy in fact. It's a very weird feeling. As if my life was too easy to be real.

It's like a very weird form of euphoria. Underwhelming euphoria.

18

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TinFoi

Becoming lazier? We're on the same boat pal..

SouSTAR (Updated )

@TinFoi
Yep, it's as if we're slowly drifting away from what we were supposed to be, but we're like "meh.", isn't it?

It's a very weird feeling...

TinFoi

@SouSTAR I have my different reason for this happening. But yeah, it's very weird. You like doing something one day then life throws a semi truck at you.

SouSTAR (Updated )

@TinFoi
Yeah
And an empty truck at that! lol

Osaka

Could be burnout, or depression, or both. Taking a break and finding new inspirations or tapping into old inspirations is really the only way, but it's CRUCIAL to remember to take a break. Take a break, take a break.

Tell Singapura I said hello, my sweet SouSTAR :3

SouSTAR

@Osaka
Thank you for your support :)
I gotta take a break then, maybe a week at least!

Singapura is eating his tempura 🍤 🍤:)
Have a very great day :D

TVisDaddy

I wouldn’t say you’re getting lazy I’d say that if anything, you sound more like you’re burnt out.

Please make sure you’re taking care of yourself and take breaks if you need them! Sometimes we overwork ourselves without even knowing it.

SouSTAR

@TVisDaddy
You're right, I should take a break :)
Have a cool day :3

DeaghlanNG

I haven't uploaded in like a month at this point, right now I'm working on a comic for a collab - I should have had it done yesterday, but I'm also having trouble with motivation. It's hard to make something memorable when you're just not feeling it.

Point being, it happens. Just wait a while, it'll come back.

SouSTAR

@DeaghlanNG
Thank you for your help :)
Hopefully you will gain the motivation!
I should wait a bit so I regain inspiration, like you wrote :)

What collab are you participating in? :)

AlexToolStudio

better then @illwillpress

Guidodinho

I very much catch your drift in all the aspects; like work, dating/relations stuff, academics or creative endeavors.
Really sucks when that metaphorical mighty flame of PASSION or AMBITION is more like a little dim candle-light, instead of a roaring bonfire.
Feels a bit to me like it's a sign of the times we're living in. Like people rarely seem to care about things that are just going okay. Like we (we as in most people collectively) really don't seem to care about anything that's just doing fine, but only devote our attention and efforts, towards those who completely hit rock-bottom, or are exceptionaly successful in some way.

The Dutch used to have a saying that was once the most defining phrase of the culture: "Doe maar normaal, dan doen we al gek genoeg" roughly translating to: "Just act normaly, then we're already being crazy enough". (And I rarely hear that phrase anymore, to my concern)
And that demotivation of just being normal really kicks my mindset in the mental nuts, in the above mentioned aspects.

Work for example: makes me feel really demotivated to apply myself for a better job, because of my assumptions that employers (no matter how shitty or great the job it is) are always looking for the best they can get. The real go-getters, the ones who always had that 'calling' to do the job. So I don't wanna write up some bullshit motivation story, when I believe my honest reasons of me getting the job will just go by unnoticed.

Same way why I don't bother trying to get intimate with the ladies anymore either: I'm not that rich and handsome and charming and dominant guy from 50 Shades Of Gray. And I'm not some mushy deeply sensitive poetic romantic either. So why bother boring the girls to death, with my moderately attractive looks and vanilla mundane lifestyle, just wanting a woman in my life, who mutualy enjoys eachother's company?

And I'm totaly applying that shitty mindset on creative things as well:
Like why would I bother getting at it, animating or drawing again, when my production value isn't nearly as good as most people are expecting, and my writing isn't exactly award-winning or awe-inspiring either.
Though I feel slightly more hopefull on that, seeing as how much I enjoyed watching the series Bridge Kids here on Newgrounds (just to name an example) and how popular it is becoming over here, while it has a super mediocore artstyle and doesn't have any super groundbreaking writing either.

I've always seen that lack of passion kinda like a heart monitor: you don't wanna hear those beeps go super fast, seeing that line get really high, and really low, but you gotta make sure somehow, that you don't go flat-lining either.

SouSTAR

@Guidodinho

I guess that the reason this "fire" is slowly disappearing is because the wood has been completely burned. I just have to take new branches, maybe even better ones, so, "taking a pause" to gather the wood again :)

"why would I bother getting at it, animating or drawing again, when my production value isn't nearly as good as most people are expecting, and my writing isn't exactly award-winning or awe-inspiring either."

Well, people are expecting nothing in art, that's the thing: it will interest people who will like your stuff. The presentation and the idea are equally important.

A lot of people like my stuff, and i like their stuff too, even if neither of us had awards
That's what i like about NG too lol
And a lot of the greatest indie series started little by little too, and began to be more popular : it's all about having the right ideas and knowing how to effectively convey them. Bridge Kids has done a very great job at that, the style was intentional, and that's what it make it so good

But that's what I lack : something to tell. I have nothing to convey (yet). So i hope with this break I'll take, i will find something to tell!

We can't "have too much" motivation in art :)

And as for work/romance, it all depends towards who are you directing this motivation.
Every jobs don't search for the same type of guy, and i personally don't think success is determined by money. I wouldn't like to be a CEO sitting around doing nothing, but I don't want to be a city cleaner being paid 1cent the month either.
And a florist shop doesn't need a "I love licking my boss's boots and money" guy, as the corpo doesn't need a "I love flowers and know a lot of things about them" guy.

Some people are shallow, both men and women. Shallow men goes for shallow women and shallow women goes for shallow men.
Gold diggers goes for men who have ridiculously amount of money. But aren't these men gold diggers too? Aren't their meaning to live only money too?

I can't talk much about romance because i frankly don't give a shit about that though. I think that romance doesn't exist. We all marry for a reason. "Because he have money and can provide", "because she's pretty" "because he is attractive and know how to cook" "because she's good with kids and is very kind". It's all about being useful to each other.
Marriage is all about being able to provide and being useful to each other, not just "enjoy each other company".
But I barely take care of myself and I don't want to provide for someone else. So i dont really care about this lol

DeaghlanNG

@SouSTAR
I have just this second finished it. Hope people will like it :)
It's the Pass the Page collab.

Placeholder456

@DeaghlanNG pass the page collab??? omg i participated in it too!!! xD

SouSTAR

@Placeholder456
@DeaghlanNG
Damn that's cool!
Looking forward for what you two have done! :D

Placeholder456

@SouSTAR yea thanx!! :)
maybe i should finally make a comic again... sadly, i almost dont have time to use my pc, i have a lot of homework... :(

DeaghlanNG

@Placeholder456
Sweet.
Looking forward to the release, this is my first art collab.
Took me a little while to think of something, but I'm pleased with how it turned out.

Placeholder456

@DeaghlanNG it was my first collab too:0
i usually get rejected from collabs, so i was really surprised when joshua (collab host) DMed me... lol
i cant wait to see your page:D

Guidodinho

@SouSTAR
Here's too hoping we both get that fuel, fire, and that which we desire.
Huaaah yeheeeah!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nfVCoD6909g&pp=ygUUQ3VtbWVyYnVuZCBmdWVsIGZpcmU%3D

psychicpxl

Please don't give up. I don't have any advice but I'll just let you know that your art means a lot to many people. You probably have some sort of burnout and in that case its ok to have a break.

SouSTAR

@psychicpxl
Thank you very much :)
I'm trying to draw some things these 2 past days but it's really hard and nothing comes to mind.
I did drew a Google Maps screenshot to practice backgrounds, so I'll see if I'll upload it sometime (gotta make it cleaner though)
It's probably burn out, so maybe it will pass thorough the week!

Thank you again very much, I love your work :)

handofdog

I'm sorry to hear you're going through that. Like others said, it does sound like burnout. I'm not a good person to give advice, but maybe you can try doing something else that has a clear completion, set goal— like reading a book or completing a puzzle. Maybe focus your efforts on another's exploits. I think art is something that can feel endless because there is always learning to be done or endless ideas to create, so doing something that has clear closure might satisfy better.

Take a break. Life events aren't all at once achieved, things will happen when they happen but you have to take action when they do. Be mindful not to form a habit of skipping & doing nothing forever, it will bite you in the ass later when you finally are motivated again.

Take care. I hope you'll feel better. And thank you for reaching out to me, it really helped.

SouSTAR

@handofdog

I'll try to find a simple hobby like you wrote :)
It's true that I don't have any other hobbies than drawing. I used to read a lot as a kid, then i ditched reading for gaming, and then i ditched gaming to focus on drawing. I really improved these last 5 years, but now, I'm getting tired of drawing. Burn-out :/
I'm getting into Minecraft now

I'm not in the mood to do anything. It's not that serious (I'm not depressed), so that's why I'm saying I'm just getting "lazy", even though I still want to draw!

I'll eventually figure out how to manage these feelings. (I do feel a bit like a whiner though lol)
I really should take a break. And then I'll go full force again.

Thank you again :)

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